A Few Random Thoughts During the Holiday Season...

...that don't particularly have anything to do with the Holidays. Or, perhaps more correctly, Holidaze. 

Do you remember the signs in practically every car on the road - or so it seemed- that read BABY ON BOARD? What? Like it's okay to hit a car with GROWN-UPS ON BOARD?  Adults don't count? Please don't hit this car because it has a baby in it whose life is obviously more precious than yours. Perhaps that was closer to the beginning of all of this "Politically Correct" nonsense that has gone so far that we are losing our Freedom of Speech. But I digress. 

The Holidays are For The Children.  Well, adults appreciate being thought of as well.  However, considering the economy we'd be better off going back to basics and making something if we can. I'm perfectly satisfied with an e-card. Just knowing someone has thought of me long enough to send one of those makes me happy. I'm not forgotten. As writers we live a pretty solitary life. As a single writer, mine is particularly solitary. My cat is a Chartreux. b2ap3_thumbnail_aimee--me.JPG 

She has a silent meow. As a migraineur, I appreciate that. It would be nice, however, if through some flight of fancy, she could say something, preferably in English, every now and then.

The thing that has been really irritating me (you knew I'd get to it, didn't you?) is Make a Wish. Before you start screaming at me for being mean or cruel, please hear me out. Have you ever heard of Make a Wish for Grown-ups? No?  Of course not. That's because there isn't one. My question is: why not? Do only children who are fatally ill deserve to have a wish fulfilled? Do people who have lived longer and had a difficult life not deserve to have a wish fulfilled?

I remember interviewing Tony Bennett many years ago. Some interviews stay with you. At one point, while discussing why he gives everything to each performance, and his performances are long, he told me he just wants to bring some happiness to people, an escape for a little while. He said some people are born under a lucky star, and some people, dammit, no matter how hard they work, nothing goes right. He has not forgotten those people. Apparently, everyone else has. If you've seen someone struggle with cancer, you know how debilitating it is, how barbaric the treatment. Some people have worked hard all their life, can't really afford to retire and haven't even taken a vacation, and then they're hit with a debilitating or fatal illness. What about them? Are they like the ones who aren't a BABY ON BOARD? They've lived "x" number of years, therefore no one needs to think of them, they've had their chance.

How many people have friends drift away when they're ill because it has gone on too long. I have had, and still have, many friends with chronic, but invisible, disabilities. One had a "close friend" tell her that she was lying when she was too sick to go out for dinner. I pointed out that she wasn't a real friend. This is the time of year when people are alone.  Some are healthy enough to go and help others, to be with friends. Others are incapacitated and completely alone. What of them?

What of older people? They have so much to share but people shy away from them. They have feelings. They still want to see people, have conversations, travel. They're not dead. Why can't people stop treating them as if they were?

I have no answers. Just questions and some food for thought for anyone who is reading this.

Comments 12

 
Former Member on Monday, 21 December 2015 12:28

Love your comment about "holiDAZE!"

I am a former wish-granter for MAKE-A-WISH and I always wondered why there wasn't a "wish-granting" organization for adults- and I learned that there ARE, actually, a few! (I don't know much about them, just that they exist...)
http://charity.lovetoknow.com/Wish_Granting_Charities_for_Adults

Love your comment about "holiDAZE!" I am a former wish-granter for MAKE-A-WISH and I always wondered why there wasn't a "wish-granting" organization for adults- and I learned that there ARE, actually, a few! (I don't know much about them, just that they exist...) http://charity.lovetoknow.com/Wish_Granting_Charities_for_Adults
Darlene Arden on Monday, 21 December 2015 21:03

Hi Debby,

Thank you for your comments.

I'm glad to hear that someone else was wondering about doing something for adults. Thank you for the link! I'm astonished! No one hears about it. Thanks to you, they will.

Yes, definitely holiDAZE. LOL

Hi Debby, Thank you for your comments. I'm glad to hear that someone else was wondering about doing something for adults. Thank you for the link! I'm astonished! No one hears about it. Thanks to you, they will. Yes, definitely holiDAZE. LOL
Former Member on Monday, 21 December 2015 17:16

I have to applaud Tony Bennet for his belief in those not born under the lucky star.

He was one of a kind performer . I would have loved to meet him. So lucky Darlene to have met him .

I have to applaud Tony Bennet for his belief in those not born under the lucky star. He was one of a kind performer . I would have loved to meet him. So lucky Darlene to have met him .
Darlene Arden on Monday, 21 December 2015 21:07

Isn't Tony amazing? I have to say, with all of the celebrity profiles I've done in my life, he's one of not even a handful who stand out in my mind. He still understands even though he has probably made a fortune doing what he loves.

I'm happy to say that he's still performing! If you know anything about singing you'll understand when I say that no one, absolutely no one, phrases like Tony Bennett and he frequently changes it from performance to performance. My favorite of his albums came out when I interviewed him, The Art of Excellence I highly recommend it. In fact, I should buy a new copy. I think I've worn out the one I have.

Yes, I was lucky to meet and interview him, especially because he was so thoughtful. I never knew what to expect before I did an interview.

Isn't Tony amazing? I have to say, with all of the celebrity profiles I've done in my life, he's one of not even a handful who stand out in my mind. He still understands even though he has probably made a fortune doing what he loves. I'm happy to say that he's still performing! If you know anything about singing you'll understand when I say that no one, absolutely no one, phrases like Tony Bennett and he frequently changes it from performance to performance. My favorite of his albums came out when I interviewed him, [i]The Art of Excellence[/i] I highly recommend it. In fact, I should buy a new copy. I think I've worn out the one I have. Yes, I was lucky to meet and interview him, especially because he was so thoughtful. I never knew what to expect before I did an interview.
Former Member on Monday, 21 December 2015 18:09

Or the signs that said, "No selling of drugs within ___ blocks of school zone." It's alright to sell drugs down the street.

As for wish granting, I wish it were 26Dec. Or January. That's when I usually get a little Christmas spirit.

Or the signs that said, "No selling of drugs within ___ blocks of school zone." It's alright to sell drugs down the street. As for wish granting, I wish it were 26Dec. Or January. That's when I usually get a little Christmas spirit.
Darlene Arden on Monday, 21 December 2015 21:09

Exactly, Charles!

I just wish for the season to end while I wait for our very brief Summer in New England.

Exactly, Charles! I just wish for the season to end while I wait for our very brief Summer in New England.
Gary Tribble on Monday, 21 December 2015 22:02

And here I thought those Baby on Board signs were intended for first responders, to alert them to the special circumstances of passengers who can't help in their own rescue.

However, as an introduction to the rest of your concern, it's a brilliant opening, and I've liked and shared it on my Facebook page.

Thanks, Darlene, for the gentle reminder.

And here I thought those Baby on Board signs were intended for first responders, to alert them to the special circumstances of passengers who can't help in their own rescue. However, as an introduction to the rest of your concern, it's a brilliant opening, and I've liked and shared it on my Facebook page. Thanks, Darlene, for the gentle reminder.
Darlene Arden on Monday, 21 December 2015 22:52

Thank you for commenting. Well, i would hope that first responders would get everyone out.

I'm glad you liked it and than you for sharing. I hope people think about it year 'round.

Thank you for commenting. Well, i would hope that first responders would get everyone out. I'm glad you liked it and than you for sharing. I hope people think about it year 'round.
Katherine Gregor on Tuesday, 22 December 2015 09:03

I like your post. In the UK, the National Health Service prioritises young people. Old people are pretty much discarded – as I know to the cost of my 81-year-old mother. Writing grants, theatre grants – most Arts grants, in fact – are for young people (under 30, generally). The word on the street is that unless you've published your first novel before you're 30, you'll never get published (a belief thankfully contradicted by Salley Vickers and a few others). Since I turned 50, whenever I mention a symptom to a doctor, I'm told, "Oh, it's just age." This social discarding of non-young people is especially applied to women, who become sort of transparent.

Happy Holidays, Darlene.

I like your post. In the UK, the National Health Service prioritises young people. Old people are pretty much discarded – as I know to the cost of my 81-year-old mother. Writing grants, theatre grants – most Arts grants, in fact – are for young people (under 30, generally). The word on the street is that unless you've published your first novel before you're 30, you'll never get published (a belief thankfully contradicted by Salley Vickers and a few others). Since I turned 50, whenever I mention a symptom to a doctor, I'm told, "Oh, it's just age." This social discarding of non-young people is especially applied to women, who become sort of transparent. Happy Holidays, Darlene.
Darlene Arden on Wednesday, 23 December 2015 04:35

Thank you so much, Katherine. It's the same on this side of the pond. Once you've hit some magic age in the minds of health care professionals, they begin to treat you like a babbling idiot. Arts Grants are only for the young?! So, by the time you have truly honed your craft, tough luck?! Patently unfair. Not to mention a special kind of stupid. Hollywood works like that, even for some writers. I have a friend who writes, among other things, scripts. She has someone young represent her at meetings while she stays home in another State. She hates California. You're right, it is especially applied to women. But, then, most research has been done mostly for the benefit of men. There is still too little known about heart attacks in women. The symptoms are different. One of my veterinarian friends diagnosed her own heart attack, called an ambulance and got herself to the hospital in time. How many other women would have died, thinking it was just indigestion? Too many. Pardon the rant.

Happy Holidays, Katherine!

Thank you so much, Katherine. It's the same on this side of the pond. Once you've hit some magic age in the minds of health care professionals, they begin to treat you like a babbling idiot. Arts Grants are only for the young?! So, by the time you have truly honed your craft, tough luck?! Patently unfair. Not to mention a special kind of stupid. Hollywood works like that, even for some writers. I have a friend who writes, among other things, scripts. She has someone young represent her at meetings while she stays home in another State. She hates California. You're right, it is especially applied to women. But, then, most research has been done mostly for the benefit of men. There is still too little known about heart attacks in women. The symptoms are different. One of my veterinarian friends diagnosed her own heart attack, called an ambulance and got herself to the hospital in time. How many other women would have died, thinking it was just indigestion? Too many. Pardon the rant. Happy Holidays, Katherine!
Sue Martin Glasco on Wednesday, 23 December 2015 05:54

Hope you and your cat have a happy, peaceful, and healthy holiday. Thanks for reminding us that all of us are important--even us oldsters.

Hope you and your cat have a happy, peaceful, and healthy holiday. Thanks for reminding us that all of us are important--even us oldsters.
Darlene Arden on Wednesday, 23 December 2015 08:01

Thank you so much, Sue. Aimee and I wish you the very same! Yes, everyone is important. I so wish that society today would stop worshipping youth and learn to respect and care about everyone.

Thank you so much, Sue. Aimee and I wish you the very same! Yes, everyone is important. I so wish that society today would stop worshipping youth and learn to respect and care about everyone.
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