Virginia M Macasaet

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SELF-TAUGHT PAINTER - LIFE BLOGGER - KITCHEN GURU - AVID KNITTER - CRAFT BEER & COFFEE LOVER Solo Exhibitions: 1998 – Virginia’s World – Color in Life 1998 – Blessed Beings in Virginia’s World 2010 – Wind, Water, and the Blue Moon in Virginia’s World 2012 – Lost in Kyoto in Virginia’s World  

I Hope I Know Better

 

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Having read Catherine Nagle’s blog online,

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/catherine-nagle/somehow-they-knew-better_b_6098626.html

Got me thinking.

I never had any regrets leaving corporate life just when my career was starting to peak.  I left for reasons unconventional but I needed to work myself out.  In doing so, everything else around me eventually worked their way out too. 

Throughout the teen years of my daughters, I was in and out of home.  I loved the travel and the time away.  In their younger years, I was mostly at home raising them.  I grew restless and had to get out.  So I did.

Carving out my career was great fun and a worthy challenge.  There were things at the home front that required more of me but my priorities were different then.  I wanted to soar heights.

I discovered many places and for a while it felt like I had reached the sky.

Until one day out of the blue, I began feeling sick and tired of being out there and always on the go.  So I gave up the busy life.  I think I made it back home in the nick of time as the girls were embarking on college life. 

I am a busier mom now than I was years ago.

Having turned 50, I’d like to think I know better too.  I may have missed out on a few milestones while the girls were growing up but as young adults now, I have full view of everything going on in their lives!  It’s great to see them evolve as I continue to evolve too.

My life now is paced slower and it’s fulfilling.  I don’t miss being impulsive and quick as a flash.  Those were fun days, living it up and living on edge but those days no longer serve me well.

Now I have time to prepare breakfast for the girls and hang around with them before we all start our mornings.  I have my own time going to work in a smaller office with still enough time to put in for personal pursuits.

I love having lunch and coffee with the girls!  I love the conversations we have, the discussions and petty arguments.  I love going for a run with them, having a beer or two and closing my day with early quiet nights.

Motherhood is a life long task.  Some miss out on the early years while others opt to do so at a later stage in life.  Whatever it is, motherhood never ends.  How we make use of our time is relative.

Being a stay home mom, doing laundry and cooking doesn’t make one better than the other.  Career moms are great moms too and we all have our shining moments. 

For me personally, my shining moment is now.  The missing gaps have been filled, the search for fulfillment has ceased and today, it’s all about living well in the eyes of my daughters.  I’d like to be the best example for myself for them to witness.

I know better now.

 

Recent Comments
Anonymous
Love. Your awesome post made me cry tears of joy for those who have paved the way for us with beautifully written reflections of l... Read More
Thursday, 06 November 2014 12:37
Anonymous
"...living well in the eyes of my daughters..." There is no higher calling.
Saturday, 20 December 2014 05:02
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Hide and Seek

 

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I completed a series of paintings in 2007.
“In Between Worlds”, I was in awe with the images that filled my canvas.
As it turns out, I was in between worlds!
 
Attending a talk on reincarnation, I was guided into past life regression.
I had totally forgotten about my collection of paintings.
Until I saw the same images while in regression.
 
I was in a cave by the sea somewhere far away.
Keeping watch over a wounded soldier helping him get better.
One day, a ship came by to take him back to his homeland.
 
And there I was standing from the cave looking out at sea.
The ship had departed at dawn, not a moment to say goodbye.
His bed was empty.
 
So I was told, the soul never forgets.
How many lives I have lived, I do not know.
The artist in me painted a glimpse of my past.
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Flashes of Clarity

I visited mom at the church.

It’s been five years since her passing.

I sent a photo to my sisters living abroad.

To help them celebrate and remember mom.

 

I met dad at the mall for a nice Japanese meal.

He accidentally knocked off his glass of water.

This has been happening more often now.

He fusses but I pretend it’s a normal thing.

 

Driving myself home, I felt gratitude.

Five years after mom’s passing.

Keeping an eye on dad.

Now I see that the girls have grown too.

 

It’s the end of my day.

I am unusually wide-awake.

Thinking about mom, dad and the girls.

It’s amazing what clarity brings.

 

I’m not a hopeless romantic after all.

Just summing up clarity in a day.

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A Lifetime or Two Ago...

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In the year 2003, I painted a wise old man sitting down.  I couldn’t figure out how the image came to mind while painting.  At the time I saw no relevance to anything or anyone in my life so I set him aside and kept him locked at storage.

One late night in December of 2013, I was awakened by a loud noise coming from the living room.  When I got up to check what could have fallen wee hours of the morning, I saw that the Christmas tree lights were left on.  My daughter forgot to unplug the lights before turning in.  And then I saw the handset of the visitor telephone dangling from the wall.  I thought to myself, how odd that the phone would unlatch itself and swing against the wall causing the noise I heard.  Someone had to lift it and let it go for it to swing and make noise hitting the wall.

Half asleep, I crawled back into bed relieved that I was awakened by the noise and was able to unplug the Christmas tree lights.  I am a light sleeper.  I know when my daughters turn in for the night because I hear their doors shut.  Some nights I hear puttering outside the hallway, as if someone is fixing something.  I am aware that no one is awake and whatever it is I am hearing is either real or imagined.  My senses tell me someone is outside doing something.

One day my daughter came home with a friend who has a third eye.  She mentioned to my daughter that she saw an old man standing in the kitchen.  When my daughter mentioned this to me, I didn’t react so as not to scare her.  I figured that someone indeed was cohabiting in my home keeping watch over us.  I thought that he could have been the one who unlatched the phone so I would get up and unplug the Christmas lights.

A few months back I went to visit a tarot card reader and he said to me, “You know, there is an old man in your home and he wears a fedora hat.”  I simply replied by telling him that my daughter’s friend said the same thing but I have not seen him, rather, I have felt his presence.  A couple of weeks ago I decided to clean out the storage and I found the painting of the Old Wise Man.  Hmmm…. I thought to myself, how interesting that way back in 2003 I painted this man not realizing that it was not an imagined figure I concocted but more like someone my third eye saw.

The other night I heard noises again in the hallway.  I wonder what he could be fixing?  I don’t mind having an invisible visitor keep watch over us.  I sense no negativity at all, just someone that lingers around every so often.  It’s like someone coming and going.  He looks Japanese to me.  Like a grandfather lost.  Maybe he is lost and has been hanging around for decades now.  I had given away the painting to the receptionist at the lobby and she mentioned to me that there is a ghost that lingers around at night.  I assumed the spook story had come from the roving guards.

I believe in spirits and the afterlife.  I believe in reincarnation too.  Maybe this old man that lingers is someone I had met in a previous life or two.   His look and clothing seems like he is from many worlds back.  He sits and he putters around.  That’s all he does.  Last night my daughter left and forgot to turn off the air condition in her bedroom.  I suddenly woke up from deep sleep feeling the urge to check the rooms.  I turned off the air condition in my daughter’s room.

Thank you for keeping watch over us.

 

 

 

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