THREE Words

What a joy it is for me to hear my father say, “thank you Rina.”

It’s affirmation that he still recognizes my voice.

 

Touch and sound of one’s voice keeps him company.

Barry Manilow’s music is playing as he sways gently tapping his hand on mine.

 

A gentle massage on his forehead and scratching his back bring him comfort.

Dialysis makes his skin itch.

 

He sits on his wheelchair facing the sun and the glorious morning view outside.

Unfortunately, his eyes remain shut.

 

I remind him that it’s Sunday morning and he is home.

Knowing that he is home brings him a sense of familiarity and safety.

 

Barry Manilow’s repertoire comes to an end.

It’s time for me to say goodbye.

 

“Gotta go dad, I’ll be back soon.”

“Thank you, Rina.”

 

Three words I will carry with me until my next visit to him.

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VALIDATION

Two years gone by, out of the blue I receive a heartwarming message of thanks.

A former student struggling to make graduation made it!

Long overdue but he finally made it.

 

He reached out to let me know how much he appreciated our talks and words of encouragement. 

If not for those moments, he claims he would have given up.

 

Hearing from him lifted my spirits and put me back on track with regard to my purpose.

In life, that is.

My drive comes from helping others.

 

I am reminded of my days after college, struggling to survive, no job.

$99 in my wallet.

I lived on dollar frozen pizzas until my first paycheck.

 

So yes, validation is always good to hear.

More so at midlife when you find yourself once again struggling with purpose.

Survival with purpose or merely survival to live?

 

Today is the day I re-validate my purpose in life.

It’s not merely to live.

I want to live knowing that I can continue to make a difference in helping others.

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Awakening Silence

  

I hear the rotating motion of the fan.

My fingers typing on the keyboard.

 

It’s Tuesday, 4am.

I hear my thoughts in this moment’s silence.

 

I think I’ll wear something blue today.

 
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G R E E N

My hypnotherapist said, “close your eyes and go to that place that brings you peace.

Describe what you see.”

 

“I see Green all over, peaceful and relaxing.”

My mind kept taking me to a place that was peaceful however, I sensed it was not quite my place to be.

 

I didn’t have the energy to battle with my mind so I let go of that uncertain moment.

Snap of a finger I was awake.

 

“Before you go to bed, don’t forget to take your mind to that place where you see Green all over.  Say out loud how peaceful and relaxing your place is.”

 

I woke up this morning to kind messages of support from The Green Room.

Only then did I realize that the Green in my subconscious was not the Green of my distant past…

 

But this Green Room that always kept its door open for me.

Once, twice, thrice I have come and gone.

 

Green Room remains my home.

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