Am I a Scrooge?

Where I live Christmas is already on its way.

It’s time to take a look at my list.

My list changes every year.  Sometimes it’s long, other times not.

Things change and situations differ. 

People fall off and new ones get signed up.

 

The older I get the less conforming I have become.

In my younger days I’d give gifts to every Tom, Dick and Harry.

I just thought it was the thing to do.

Didn’t matter if there was no meaning.

Just give a token gift and get the season over with.

 

I know better now.

When I began making changes in my life, my list was affected too.

It got short rather quickly but I must say it’s a more meaningful list.

I take my time and buy quality over quantity 

When I give it comes deep from within.

 

Not by obligation or conformity.

Just honest to goodness genuine giving with the warmth of love and gratitude.

I should be kinder in my thoughts more accepting of other’s generosity but 

I think I’ve been in others’ Christmas lists for too long.

 

Last year I announced at the onset of the holidays, “no gifts for me please.  I appreciate being remembered however, as part of my turning 50 bucket list, I would like to request that you pay forward gratitude to someone else in genuine need.”

 

Now that Christmas is on it’s way again, I’d like to turn the situation around and take stock of what’s given to me.

I don’t mean to be presumptuous but I can tell when something is given from the heart.

And I definitely can sense when something is given for the sake of giving.

There’s warmth that surrounds a gift given with love and sincerity.

 

My dilemma is what to do with gifts I do not need.

Food is easy because where I live there’s enough people to share the love.

It’s other gifts that I sometimes struggle with and end up lost on whom to pass them on to.

I do not recycle unless it is something I would have personally bought and considered giving away.

 

Much as I would like to keep everything, it’s not possible.

Space is limited and less is more.

 This makes me curious.

What do others do with gifts they receive that serve no purpose?

It’s easy to donate or discard however I prefer to pass on with purpose.

I opened my drawers and realized that I still have gifts from past Christmases.

Friendship is far stronger than any form of gift giving.

Am I a scrooge for wanting to cut down on the gift receiving?

 

Am I worse than a scrooge by requesting no gifts for me this Christmas?

At this point in my life, the less I accumulate, the better.

I don’t want to be misunderstood and this can be a touchy topic.

Share your thoughts please?

 

 

 

 

Comments 7

 
Anonymous on Sunday, 01 November 2015 12:20

Virginia,
People in this community LOVE to celebrate Christmas with gift-giving, an extraordinarily expensive ritual, that's simply impractical for many. I reluctantly accept a few gifts, and try to reciprocate in some way, but it gets more difficult each year.
I know it gives my friends joy to remember me at Christmas with a gift I wouldn't buy myself, and honestly, if I didn't receive a single gift at Christmas, I'd be sad.
xox
Jane

Virginia, People in this community LOVE to celebrate Christmas with gift-giving, an extraordinarily expensive ritual, that's simply impractical for many. I reluctantly accept a few gifts, and try to reciprocate in some way, but it gets more difficult each year. I know it gives my friends joy to remember me at Christmas with a gift I wouldn't buy myself, and honestly, if I didn't receive a single gift at Christmas, I'd be sad. xox Jane
Virginia M Macasaet on Sunday, 01 November 2015 21:40

Thank you Jane for opening my eyes to the beauty of gift-giving. I missed this important point! I happen to love giving gifts to my loved ones and people I care about. In receiving gifts for myself, I failed to appreciate the positive reasons. My sense of frugalness and over practicality has clouded the good nature of why gift giving is a wonderful act of kindness! Thank you!

Thank you Jane for opening my eyes to the beauty of gift-giving. I missed this important point! I happen to love giving gifts to my loved ones and people I care about. In receiving gifts for myself, I failed to appreciate the positive reasons. My sense of frugalness and over practicality has clouded the good nature of why gift giving is a wonderful act of kindness! Thank you!
Rosy Cole on Sunday, 01 November 2015 14:09

Sometimes, I think we have to suspend judgement about why people give gifts and accept them with delight and thankfulness. There is a kind of paradox in this, a sense in which taking things at face value is also honouring something deeper. Our gift can simply be that delight. It's similar to when people specify no flowers at their funeral. I understand where they may be coming from, asking for donations to charity, but, really, it's not their call. The living must express their respects in the way that seems most meaningful to them. In this connection, I'd reference the attitude of Judas Iscariot to the woman with the alabaster jar of ointment which she poured over Christ's feet, and his words to Judas.

What we needn't do is feel under obligation merely to reciprocate in kind. (Those people may even become the focus of prayers. They will never know how you have blessed them!) We should have some kind of yardstick if the celebration of Christmas and the giving of gifts is to represent the essence of the festival and not descend into travesty. One thing is certain, you can't please all the people all of the time, no matter what you do. Your true friends will still be your true friends.

As to Scrooge, many years ago my parents announced that they did not want any further Christmas or birthday presents, and did not intend to give any since choosing was such an ordeal and the whole thing was a farce. I didn't feel I could comply, and it did cause some embarrassment, but, overall, it lifted the misery from those occasions.

Sometimes, I think we have to suspend judgement about why people give gifts and accept them with delight and thankfulness. There is a kind of paradox in this, a sense in which taking things at face value is also honouring something deeper. Our gift can simply be that delight. It's similar to when people specify no flowers at their funeral. I understand where they may be coming from, asking for donations to charity, but, really, it's not their call. The living must express their respects in the way that seems most meaningful to them. In this connection, I'd reference the attitude of Judas Iscariot to the woman with the alabaster jar of ointment which she poured over Christ's feet, and his words to Judas. What we needn't do is feel under obligation merely to reciprocate in kind. (Those people may even become the focus of prayers. They will never know how you have blessed them!) We should have some kind of yardstick if the celebration of Christmas and the giving of gifts is to represent the essence of the festival and not descend into travesty. One thing is certain, you can't please all the people all of the time, no matter what you do. Your true friends will still be your true friends. As to Scrooge, many years ago my parents announced that they did not want any further Christmas or birthday presents, and did not intend to give any since choosing was such an ordeal and the whole thing was a farce. I didn't feel I could comply, and it did cause some embarrassment, but, overall, it lifted the misery from those occasions.
Virginia M Macasaet on Sunday, 01 November 2015 21:46

Thank you Rosy for your wonderful insight! I am a scrooge!:( I should remember to practice delightfulness and light heartedness not just during the christmas season but daily! Accepting and receiving gifts with kindness is a great way to practice what you've pointed out. Thank you for helping me to realize that being practical and frugal is not always the best way to live, Christmas has to be an exception to the rule with good balance.. :)

Thank you Rosy for your wonderful insight! I am a scrooge!:( I should remember to practice delightfulness and light heartedness not just during the christmas season but daily! Accepting and receiving gifts with kindness is a great way to practice what you've pointed out. Thank you for helping me to realize that being practical and frugal is not always the best way to live, Christmas has to be an exception to the rule with good balance.. :)
Stephen Evans on Thursday, 05 November 2015 02:22

For each gift, write the story of the gift. Then keep the story, give away the gift.

For each gift, write the story of the gift. Then keep the story, give away the gift.
Anonymous on Saturday, 28 November 2015 14:02

Virginia, I love giving gifts, but I am an unconventional person who does not celebrate holidays. I like to give "just because" gifts throughout the year. I see so many people who really dread this time of year because they feel the need to conform. To them I say, Don't let Hallmark, Madison Avenue and Martha Stewart (not them specifically, but you get the idea) push you around! You don't have to decorate and go into a shopping frenzy if you don't want to. Just step off the merry-go-round. And as far as gifts you might receive go, let the word spread that you appreciate experiences (massages, facials, whatever it might be) more than things.

Virginia, I love giving gifts, but I am an unconventional person who does not celebrate holidays. I like to give "just because" gifts throughout the year. I see so many people who really dread this time of year because they feel the need to conform. To them I say, Don't let Hallmark, Madison Avenue and Martha Stewart (not them specifically, but you get the idea) push you around! You don't have to decorate and go into a shopping frenzy if you don't want to. Just step off the merry-go-round. And as far as gifts you might receive go, let the word spread that you appreciate experiences (massages, facials, whatever it might be) more than things.
Virginia M Macasaet on Monday, 30 November 2015 22:53

Thank you for your comment Jean! Love your suggestion about "appreciating experiences" - something I hadn't thought to suggest when asked.

Thank you for your comment Jean! Love your suggestion about "appreciating experiences" - something I hadn't thought to suggest when asked.
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