The Pact

My friend proposed a pact. This pact called for us to tell one another when we noticed that we were acting unusual. 

The backstory to his proposal was a vacation. He drove his RV to Palm Springs for a working vacation. While down there, he discovered he was rapidly weakening and losing motor skills and mobility. Rushed to the hospital, they discovered bleeding on his brain. While falling, he'd bumped his head. The resulting injury caused bleeding on his brain. He hadn't known.

We'd noticed him acting differently. He seemed less present, more vacant, lacking his sharp awareness and recital of facts and events. But, in my defense, he was aging, was now 73. When met each week on beer night and drank beer. He'd been experiencing multiple health issues and they were stressing him. How much of his changed behavior we witnessed that night was because of his age, his current health problems, or the beer he imbibed? 

Better safe than sorry, we decided as a group, making the pact. I thought it was a good pact. I wonder with my wife's health how to apportion her health issues to her auto-immune disease, the meds she takes to cope with and mitigate her disease's symptoms and its impact on her body, or aging or new health problems? She's depressed from her continual battle and stressed so they could be causing her more health problems. Her meds and issues keep her from sleeping many nights and then she gets into terrible cycles of staying up late, unable to sleep, arising early without enough sleep, and then going not be able to sleep again because of her meds or because she's too tired. We don't know. She doesn't know. The only solution is to notice and say something and try to understand. 

My wife dislikes it. She's weary of talking about her problems. Talking about it depressing her more. As for the pact, I agreed but wondered if I should mention, this pact has been proposed and accepted before.

In fact, we've made it twice before in the last four months. Does he know he proposed that same thing twice before? Does no one else notice this? It saddens me to think of mentioning it, as I feel like I'm picking on him and the others. They're all highly intelligent people, well educated and accomplished. I'm the token average dumb guy, permitted to be a part because I'm younger and better look. I might lower the group's IQ but I also lower our average and median ages. 

I don't know if I'll mention it. It's another of those conundrums, one of the multiple but small moral and intellectual quagmires faced every day as we strive for balance and understanding. 

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Monday, 10 August 2020

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